Saturday, October 27, 2012

Our new normal

I never fancied myself a "blogger." To me, blogging seemed like something self absorbed people did. Now, before you throw tomatoes at me, let me explain. My life has been uneventful. I grew up in middle class, 2 parent household. I never wanted for anything and life unfolded much as it does for everyone. I grew up in "beaver cleaver land" as my friend Johanna would say. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing devastating. Life. It unfolded much like everyone else's did. Ups and downs, twist and turns. Did bad things happen? Sure, but bad things happen to everyone. Did amazing things happen? Many. But again...I just didn't see a need to blog.  I graduated from high school, went to college. Graduated. I got a job. I got married. I got pregnant. Pregnancy, now THIS was an extraordinary event for my husband and I, and for our families...but worth blogging about? Noooooo. This is the sort of thing that most everyone does...until one day, we were faced with something that not EVERYONE faces. Suddenly, my ordinary life, became not so ordinary.  In that chaos, in that sad, confusion, fear filled chunk of time...I turned to the internet for answers. Google provided the medical answers, and blogs provided the first hand "we have been down this road" information I had to read.  It became an obsession. That obsession gave me hope, comfort and strength. Because of that, I began to see blogs differently. They were not written by self absorbed people who felt "THEIR" story was in someway extraordinary  They were simply written by people who wanted to share the events that shaped them. They wanted to share their life, and along way, give hope/insight/peace to anyone else who may be facing the same challenges. Prior to Evan, I didn't blog. Prior to Evan, I didn't drink milk everyday. Prior to Evan, I had never religiously taken vitamins.   Prior to Evan, I had never cried so hard that I couldn't breath. I had never prayed with such force  I had never felt my world crash down in the way that it did that day.  June 27th, 2012 was an ordinary day. Sunny and warm, it was the day we would find out if our little peanut was a boy or a girl. It should have been a joyful day, filled with phone calls, congratulations and pure excitement...only it wasn't   It was the day we were told  the news that would change everything I had imagined for my life. Ordinary wasn't ordinary anymore. My life took on new meaning and I had no idea how I was going to breath, let alone LIVE. But I did, and here I am. Here I am blogging about a little boy who isn't even here yet, but has turned my ordinary world into something greater than I could have ever imagined.

1 comment:

  1. I am so moved by this, your first post about your journey. I can tell already that I'll be following your blog obsessively now!

    Kim, I pray every morning Evan and your family. I can't wait for you to meet your little man. If you think he's changed your life now, just wait until you hold him that first time, and it all changes again.